maybe knowing too much about others isn’t so great

A few years ago, I saw this Wait But Why Cartoon that perfectly encapsulated a phenomenon I’ve been thinking about more and more. Two stick figures, blissfully united in their agreement on points A and B, suddenly find themselves at odds when a third belief enters the picture. For many people, it’s as if the entire foundation of their relationship with someone crumbles over a single disagreement.

To explore this, let’s play a little game I like to call “Who Would You Admire?” The rules are simple: make a list of people you admire most. Now, imagine revisiting that list in a decade. How many names would survive the culling?

In 2015, Marginal Revolution readers played this game. They voted Elon Musk as the person they most admired. Tyler Cowen fared even worse here. The only name he could list was Aung San Suu Kyi as his sole admirable figure. Since then, both Musk and Suu Kyi have been disgraced, having their reputations tarnished.

Noah Smith’s 2015 list provides an even starker example. Of his top ten, at least half (including Musk, Elizabeth Warren, Shinzo Abe, Marc Andreessen, and Jon Stewart) are likely people that Noah would view with contempt today.

It’s as if the past decade has been a cosmic game of reputation whack-a-mole.

So what’s going on here? Have people suddenly become less admirable? Are we witnessing a mass moral deterioration? I don’t think so.

Instead, I think the following have happened:

  • The Opinion Surface Area Expansion: We now expect people to have stances on an ever-widening array of issues. Your local dog catcher? Better have the right take on cryptocurrency and Gaza!
  • The Great Opinion Unveiling: Social media and the documentation and indexing of everything have made it so every opinion and action becomes knowable to all, and forever relevant. In the context of public figures, this has meant that every action, statement, and misstep is immortalized, ensuring that each person’s most objectionable beliefs or actions are accessible to everyone as one of the first things you will learn about that person.

We’re simultaneously increasing the number of potential disagreements and our awareness of them.

One could argue that this increased visibility is a net positive. After all, shouldn’t we want to know the true nature of those we associate with? Isn’t it better to curate our relationships and communities based on a more complete picture rather than a less complete one?

On a gut level, this feels wrong to me. There’s something to be said for the blissful ignorance of not knowing every opinion held by every person in our lives and for spending less time dwelling on divisive topics. If you got along well with your work colleague until you discovered their view on topic X, then maybe discussing topic X isn’t wise.

The easy solution might be to simply avoid discussing topic X with your colleague, but perhaps the more meaningful approach is to focus less on topic X altogether. By doing so, we avoid contributing to its salience and polarization and should take a more disinterested stance when others engage in these debates, whether online or in person. In this context, it would also be helpful to recalibrate our expectations, allowing for greater tolerance when people make mistakes or hold “bad” views.

Yet, I remain very uncertain about all of this. It’s undeniably problematic when people do harmful things or cling to misguided beliefs, and it seems reasonable to consider these factors when judging others, but the consequences of this on a macro level seem awful. I’m curious to hear what others think about this, because I feel deeply confused…